Do You Believe You Are Incapable?

- September 06, 2019

Do you often rank yourself as being incapable of achieving great things? Let’s face it; when life seems to be spinning out of control, it can seem impossible to slow the rotation of that wheel.

You may find yourself quietly or noisily dwelling in the abyss of negativity. Whether in the realm of love, happiness or success, your view of your ability to effectively deliver in these facets of your life might lean towards the negative side of things if you believe that your role in any of these areas is futile.

Negative Effects of Thinking You are Incapable

When we believe we are incapable of succeeding in some part or all facets of living our lives, it can have adverse effects.

Low Expectations of Yourself and Potentially Others

Thinking you are incapable often leads you to expect very little of yourself and others. You always believe that others are making negative assumptions about you and your abilities.

These expectations of others may cause you to limit yourself in significant ways that are detrimental to yourself or a project. It can even cause you to avoid the people you fear suspect may not expect you to succeed or be good at anything.

Negative Thinking Pattern

A negative thinking pattern is a common symptom of thinking you are incapable. You have a belief that the possibility of anything good happening to you is highly unlikely. For example, you might convince yourself that finding love, increasing your income or finding happiness is highly unlikely.

Your thoughts are often emotionally-driven and may even center around if-based scenario (e.g. “If only...I would if….)

Your Inner Critic is Vocal

Your inner critic is quite vocal and can weigh you down. He/she is crucifying and leads you to blame yourself for everything that goes wrong in your life (e.g., “It’s my fault we broke up,” “It's my fault we don’t have any money”).

Interestingly enough, your inner critic is not discriminating to just you. He/she may also label others as being incapable of doing anything right, leaving you to believe that no matter how bad you are at doing things, you still do it better than anyone else.

How to Combat these Negative Thoughts

To combat these negative, destructive thinking patterns, you have first to accept that there is a problem. If you do nothing to change, these thoughts will continue to plague you and limit your ability to function.

Getting past the sense that you are incapable requires you to pursue self-understanding and self-compassion, according to Lisa Firestone, Ph.D. You must learn to not reside in the city of self-doubt and look for ways to become someone who is open to loving and accepting yourself.

Next, you will also have to find a way to silence that inner critic. This particular piece of advice may not be achievable without the help of a professional such as a therapist. The inner critic does wonders to keep us grounded at times, but if we allow him/her to rule us, they can cause us to act out in destructive ways that might prove harmful to ourselves and others emotionally and in some instances, physically.

Recognize the voice of your inner critic when he/she does rear their ugly head. You know the signs of them being in the wings. “You will never get that job.” “You will never finish your degree.” “You will never pay off your debt; everyone has debt. Why should you be any different?”

You will need to practice shutting that voice down. It may require you to establish a balanced support system in addition to any professional help you may have at your disposal.

Your friends and family can help to pull you through difficult and challenging times and may even help you to recognize when you are “spinning” out of control.